Monday, September 07, 2009

Democracy is here.

Those of you who've known me for a while must have figured out by now that I have a strong inclination toward weird and terrible hairstyles. It started when I was younger, but really bloomed in college, when my parents were living on the other side of the world. I would shave my head at the beginning of the summer, forget to cut it for six or seven months, then do something crazy with it in the spring. Then I'd shave my head again and start over. Basically: rinse, lather, repeat. One year I had a mullet, which digressed into a rat-tail, and the next year I got a perm and went from jheri curl to clown hair.

And as you've probably guessed, it's that time again. It's been a year since I last cut my hair, and I can safely say that this is the longest my hair has ever been. I've been fighting an uphill battle, too, because I've had to endure all my students laughing at me or calling me "a girl". Which I find strange, since I see plenty of guys with long-hair, but, admittedly, they're all mostly the same type of guy. Which would explain why most Chinese adults automatically assume I'm some kind of artist or musician because of my long hair. Because my original haircut last September had been some kind of funky layer, when my hair grew out, I started to take on a strong resemblance to one late entertainer's later years. Some of my friends convinced their kids to call me "Jacko Shu shu," or Uncle Jacko. Ha ha...

M has really been a trooper throughout all of this. She gives me a hard time about it by saying that she's shown her true love by enduring the mullet and the clown hair, and that she should only have to take so much of this madness. A few weeks ago, M was trying to convince me to cut my hair, and I confessed that I was kind of sick of it and wanted to cut it, but that there was just too much pressure. "What do you mean?" she asked, to which I blurted out, "Well, I'm just such a...block of marble!" M had a good laugh at that, but she knew exactly what I meant. Since this is the longest I've ever had my hair, the possibilities are virtually endless. I've been thinking for week and I just can't make up my mind. Should I go for the Asian pop star look? Or the crazy crimped style that's all the rage here in Beijing right now? I could revisit the fro or the mullet, or go for the (just checked the length) 22cm mohawk.

And then I realized, I don't have to decide. I can do this democratically. Unfortunately, I've put this off for too long, so I don't have much time. I'm starting a new job with a department at Tsinghua, and I kind of have to look professional for class. Basically, Wednesday and Thursday I have some introductory classes, and then I start next week, so I've only got a few days to rock a really terrible hairstyle. My weekend classes will be in for a treat though.

So here are the rules. I will accept one vote per person in the comment field of this post. Voting will close right before I get my haircut, which will probably be Thursday afternoon. Anonymous comments will not be counted unless you specifically state who you are. You are welcome to look up sample pictures and link to them in your comments. And feel free to comment more to try and convince others. M will probably try and sway all of you to vote for some very professional clean-cut hairstyle, but don't listen to her. She has to live with it. And if you just randomly stumbled upon this, or were sent a link by a friend, feel free to vote even if you don't know me. In the event of a tie, I reserve the right to make the final decision.

My commitment to you: I will document the process and post the post-haircut pictures. I will try and keep the style for as long as I can before I have some kind of function where it would be inappropriate.

Here's what you have to work with:


17 comments:

Mind of a Stranger said...

Wow, Josh. Your hair is actually almost the same length (and even style--sort of) as mine. -_- I'd side with M in this one and say go for a clean cut one; however, there are options of making that clean style a but funky or fun. Just don't go for the Asian pop star. :P Those, I think, can make you look very feminine sometimes.

Evan said...

As the artist behind the mullet/rat tail (lightning bolts included!), my vote better pull some weight, Jorge. I think I get more electoral votes in this democracy.

And I'm going to say: The Statue of Liberty. Simply shave everything except 1.5 or 2 inches from your forehead/sideburns. Then, spike with elmer's glue. (Note: this will also create a fun haircut with it down/not spiked.)

People! Vote Statue of Liberty!

J.Dou said...

HAHAHAHAHA. Awesome, Evan.

I'll take your request for a weighted vote into account, but I doubt it'll get past the missus.

Amy said...

i'm siding with marilyn. mario lopez: http://cyberaxis.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/mario-lopez-shirt-n-tie.jpg

if you could get both his haircut and his body, i'm sure marilyn wouldn't mind. :D but for all i kno you could already have a body like mario. *shrug. then all you would need is the haircut.

Tawny said...

i say revisit the "clown" hair, kinda, but more like friar joshua:

http://images2.jokaroo.net/images/haircut.jpg

Piripu said...

I vote for one of two (but if forced to choose, then the former):

- chair man mao: http://bit.ly/1Uq3Ty
The catch is, you keep everything long except the shaved top and front - a rock-star Mao style.

- kim jong il: http://bit.ly/26rH8N. You may have to use some pomade or get a perm to get the wavy front.
cheers, piripu

Andrew Laffoon said...

Josh, I have to agree with Evan. Statue of Liberty all the way! :D

Leslie said...

I am voting for rockstar Chairman Mao hairstyle. Please.

Vicky said...

Chairman Mao would be a nice touch, especially since you're in China.

Anonymous said...

You could be twins with my brother, Mike, who shaved all his hair off. Love, Cousin Katy

Jonathan said...

Dreadlocks.

It doesn't qualify as a haircut and certainly doesn't pass as Marilyn's "professional" look, but you gotta put that long hair to some use. I don't think I've EVER seen an asian with dreads! It would be sssiiiicckkk

Evan said...

How is clean cut even an option? The point is, he's going to HAVE to be clean cut like, 2 days later. Hence, Statue of Freaking Liberty. (Thank you Andrew.)

brian said...

my vote is for some form of dreads or corn rolls, but statue of liberty can follow that after a week, then you still might be able to do a little chairman ... why settle for just one? =P

cheryl said...

hahahahaha I am SO sad our internet wasn't working until AFTER the haircut happened...but after I write this M might be happy our internet was out - because Evan, I think the Statue of Liberty idea is HILARIOUS and would have LOVED to see that. And if I'm correct, that would have brought the vote up to 3 - tying it with the chairman mao vote. And then M wouldn't have been able to sway you to the bob cut on the grounds that you want to do something NEW - because that would have been new alright.

Evan said...

thank you Cheryl. You and Andrew have excellent taste.

J.Dou said...

I'm trying to convince M to let me do either Statue of Liberty or Mao next. I guess I can't do both since they're basically opposites.

If I did go with Statue of Liberty, my spikey crown would only be as long as the tufts of my pageboy bangs. It might work though.

M.dou said...

Actually, I would like to say that I would have been down for the Statue of Liberty. That would have been pretty awesome, but c'mon, how hilarious was josh as a page boy?! i spent most days doubled over in laughter, if not looking at him, then at least watching the way people were unsure how to treat him...