Saturday, May 22, 2010

What Could Have Been

These are the descriptions and their corresponding images for the different options available at China Prom.  I wanted the images creepy, sinister in their un-reality; Ingrid succeeded beyond what I could have hoped.

The Clean Cut

I know what you’re thinking: “Cop Out!”, but hear me out.  Maybe for me, normal is the new weird.  A good many of you have never actually seen me in person with a normal haircut, and some of you have only known me with a mustache (and for that I’m sorry).  Are you sick of being creeped out by my Fu Man Chu?  Now you can do something about it.  On behalf of my wife Marilyn, I’m giving you the chance to vote for a ‘normal’ hairstyle.

The Super Bowl
This cut was inspired by Lin Yu Chun, who gained Internet notoriety after belting out a stirring rendition of “I Will Always Love You” on a Taiwanese talent show.  There’s always been something powerful and moving about the symmetry of the classic bowl cut, but Lin Yu Chun has updated it with a modern swoop along the temple ending in an angular sideburn, boldly defying the gentle curves of the bowl.

The Friar Tuck

In homage to feudal piety, the Friar is in the same family of the bowl cut, only inverted;  more accurately, it’s a bowl within a bowl.  A small rice bowl and a razor is all it takes to prove my faithfulness.  In fact, I’m pretty positive that the good Friar uses the self-same bowl to form his shiny pate as he does to help himself to seconds at the Monastery shi tang.   I am not ashamed.

The Statue of Liberty

Back in the fall when I did a vote-off on our blog, the Statue of Liberty came in second place behind the Page Boy Bob.  It’s a daring tribute to Democracy and Lady Liberty, involving shaving off all but the bangs, which are then spiked into pointy sunbursts of Freedom.  By voting, you are waiving your right to sue, should I accidentally poke one of your eyes out.

Front to Back

How’s this for symmetry?  I found this online and thought to myself: “I’ve got the ‘stache for it, I’ve got the glasses, this cut was made for me.”  That might not be 100% accurate, but having a mirror image face on the back of my head promises to be entertaining.  The level of detail on this man’s head is minimal, but I’m confident that the right stylist could really work some magic.  You won’t be able to tell if I’m coming or going.


Ingrid said...

hahaha, thanks for posting. maybe everyone picked the one without your face in it because the others were too scary.

Tawny said...

I think it would be kinda awesome to see the "clean cut." But for the sake of nostalgia, let's vote for the super bowl.

Ingrid said...

the Super bowl or the Friar. I want to see Josh gain a considerable amount of weight, for integrity's sake.

J.Dou said...

woah hold on, this isn't an actual vote :P. that already happened!

it's too late, actually, since we cut my hair. it's weird looking normal again.